A SATIRICAL VIEW OF THE SYSTEM
The big day of June 5th and subsequent Congress on June 7th, 2008 is over and things have not gone according to Mr. President's plans. He is in his office sitting on the couch looking up in the air as Orderly walks in early 9:30 am after a good night of "Night Fair" on the town.
Orderly: Yo, Yo, Mr. President, how are you my man, my man, my man. Been a rough couple of weeks huh, June 5th, no one wanted to show up at Zom Lib except paid street sweepers who danced in the street in tight red leggings before a fallen soldier. Heavy man! How did that guy Rachel die anyway Mr. President? Any word on that? The Government did not have any guns to resist the Coup d'etat gang? Yes Mr. President my man, what happened at the Congress? You told us believers and supporters of your" JJ Fountain” that we could count on you to put your foot down with Boss in the Congress........not a peep, not a squeak out of you Sir. What's going on my man? You are our Leader. You are now present; you are today.... our only hope for our future. Boss is the past, I mean the past as in passé! We need you alert on your toes to handle this growing fuel crisis - cost of living- corruption- drug war - theft-mismanagement crisis we face.
Orderly continues his barraging pep talk.....
The People voted for you. Ghosts voted for you. Dead people rose up and voted for you, the sick were dragged out of hospital to vote for you, Sir. We locked up opposition supporters just before polling day to stop them casting a vote for the alliance. Do not let your people down now. Wavy is counting on you. He writes about you in Regar and has added color props to make his writing sound good to keep up with Weekly. If you don't pull through now Sir, snap out of this, the Regar will close down. Wavy needs concrete results or he is too far out on a limb. We need a loyal opposition, Sir. Do you hear me, Sir? If you loose Wavy, we have to face DP head to head. Our heads are no match for their heads. They will beat us to a pulp Sir! They have ghost writers and riders.
Mr. President: (As he looks down on Orderly, in a grave look) Orderly, I must tell you something. Come close. Orderly approaches the couch, left by Qatar investors, as a token of appreciation.
In a low voice, so Boss does not hear him through planted bugging devices Prezzy says: We are in a mess Orderly. I don't know what I'm doing. I was just trying to be Presidential and display compassion towards our People. I wanted to be the President of all Seychellois. I really meant that when I said it. I really wanted to be all things to all people.
Orderly: Then what's the problem Sir, wake up!
Mr. President: I am awake Orderly. I resent that statement. You see Orderly, Boss will not let me be the President for all the People. He wants me to be his President. He wants me to take orders from him and the Central Committee. I have already fired a lot of people from Government that sit on that Committee. I don't want to deal with them; they are a bunch of...
Orderly: Then why are we planning and scheming in State House Mr. President. Why do we need foundations this and foundations that... fountains everywhere?
Mr. President: That's it Orderly; I don't know why we are here at State House. I am starting to feel like that statute in the garden that does not move. It just stands there and birds pose on it as they like...... and pooh! I want to be there for everyone. I want to meet and greet all citizens at State House. I want to meet Wavy, Mancham, reconcile with everyone, even Volcere, that Editor that was attacked by the Sea cucumber king. Even "Sosis", I want to dialogue with him and ask him to stop scamming our money and to give a little back. Savy and his islands, I want to visit them and have a nice weekend with you know who, but I can't. Orderly, I CANNOT BE WHAT I WANT TO BE! I cannot see BEYOND 2000! To tell you the Truth my "Leker is not with Leker" Boss. I want a greater Pan -Indian Ocean Community and Boss said no, don't even try! I am tired of the life of a thug. I want to change and change our image, but Boss won't let me. So what do I do next Orderly? Tell me! Your advice will be appreciated at this time.
Orderly: Mr. President, I thought everything was fine. I didn't realize things had built up inside you so much Sir. You are obviously in a compromised position that I would not wish upon my worse enemy at Weekly, Sir.
Mr. President: I said tell me what to do next Orderly!
Orderly: Ah, ya right, what to do next- Mr.President......one small detail Sir, ah, how do I put this to you Sir......well, Sir, you remember the BIG FAT SALARY INCREASE WITH RET-IREMENT PENSION YOU GAVE YOU-RSELF AND WAVY AFTER THE TETE-A-TETE?
Mr. President: Yes I do have a minor recollection................, why, what about it?
Orderly: Sir, my stomachs' full, but I'm...ummm hungry, you know Mr.President. Ever listen to Bob Marley? What about my little increase in salary....25% would sound good perhaps....the Merry Ladies at Central Bank got a 45% increase last year and you and Wavy got 35%-45% increase. So 25% would be ok for me ....for now. Times are tough Mr. President, you know about all that don't you?
Mr. President: Not now Orderly....we are broke!