Rose petals and painful thorns!
Orderly walks into the office, another Monday, another depressing week. No good news, but today, he walks in with two stemmed red roses. He plans to add a bit of cheer to the briefing as the August monsoon winds wreak havoc in the gardens bringing with it a series of bad omens…
Orderly: Good morning Mr. President.
President: Good morning Orderly, thank you for the roses.
Orderly: It’s not for you Mr. President. This rose is for me to know the future. I will pick each petal one by one, I will know if she loves me or she loves me not. It works these things, Sir.
Mr. President: Orderly, you mean you can know if someone loves you or not by plucking those red rose petals? That’s an ingenious idea. It reminds me of Gilbert’s ‘Sesel Pe Pet an Fler’ campaign during the early days of ‘miltiparti’!
Orderly: Of course Sir, and if you spice it up with a pinch of French and a little dash of poetry it works in your favour. I’ve done it several times in my romantic days before getting caught up in the bottle thing…
Mr. President: Ok Orderly! Since you are so smart, I am so desperate right now, I will try anything. I need results, or else Boss will send the ‘titalbert’ after me.
Orderly: Yes Sir Mr. President, you are right. Lehman Brothers are already after you and that is just the beginning. Where Lehman’s goes, there will sure be more brothers to follow. Don’t forget, Big Brother is watching!
Mr. President: I know my man. I tried to lose them with my escape to Beijing but Danny and Chang Leng also took flight! I’ll try IMF on this rose. They loves me, they loves me not, they loves me, they loves me not...
Orderly: Ah, Mr. President, why don’t you skip IMF, Sir, I don’t think they love you one bit. In fact, since you decided to avoid the man from Lehman’s, IMF is now avoiding you. So let’s get serious. We need to add a bit of romance in this whole scenario. How about Liz?
Mr. President: She doesn’t love me Orderly; she just wanted a 200 HP outboard for her husband. I tell you, you cannot get any deal these days without them sucking up…
Ouch… - (he inadvertently gets his thumb pricked by a thorn). You see she must be cursing me for not agreeing to upgrade the boat as well…
Orderly: Ok, Sir, back to State Affairs. Try Chang Leng. He has a lot up his sleeve and he might spill the rotten beans on you when the crap hits the fan at Central Bank.
Mr. President: - (sucking on his thumb to stop the bleeding) - Ok, good one… He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not...
Orderly: Ah Mr. President, lets stop! I think he loves you. He knows too much of the past dealings during your spell as Minister of Finance. He says he will be forever grateful to you for giving him such a lifetime opportunity!
Mr. President: Why do you say that Orderly?
Orderly: Because Sir, as long as you remain silent and turn your back on reality, make like you hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil. Chang Leng gets away with mass “financial-economic” destruction of Seychelles, Sir!
Mr. President: I am getting more worried by the day Orderly. It is only now that I realise what a mess we are in. But life goes on. I am sure our people understand that we have to face these moments of reality. We cannot have it rosy all the time.
Orderly: Sir it is the year of the rose! We should adopt the rose as the emblem of the Jj Spirit Foundation. “Say it with a rose”…
Mr. President: Great advice Orderly, now I know why I hired you from Protocol. So all the younger generation will love me, huh? This rose thing seems to work after all.
Orderly: Mon Cher Excellence! Nous avons tous une pensée pour la rose! La vie en rose! Au nom de la rose!
Mr. President: “Long Live the Central Bank”, “Long Live Orderly”, “Long Live the Rose”!
Orderly: shakes his head in approval as he grabs the petals on the coffee table and makes a dash to his office where he sprinkles the petals over the couch which ‘Jam’ (the Irish wolfhound) has adopted over the last few weeks… hopefully he will chill… he loves me…he loves me not…