November 17, 2006

BANANA REPUBLIC

Our Roving Journalist has taken up residence in The Banana Republic where he will be reporting from henceforth. This week he filed this report:

The Banana Republic is a small Caribbean country with an even smaller population. After a week of total relaxation our journalist was finally introduced to the president.

Quite honestly the man is nothing to look at, but he has managed to remain in power since his country’s independence about fifty years ago.

Our journalist noticed that the illustrious leader was simply referred to as “The President” and upon inquiring further he was informed that the man likes to be called “El Presidento” because “it sounds” nice and it constantly reminds him of his absolute power. This is part of the conversation that our journalist had with El Presidento.

But Mr. President in this day and age no leader goes about telling the world that he has absolute power.

Who is the world? As far as the rest of the world is concerned we are a pluralistic society, and that is all the world needs to know. The rest is our business.

What makes your country a pluralistic society?

It says so in our Big Book? And that is all that matters.

What else is written in your Big Book?

What would you like to know?

 For example do you have a Cabinet of Ministers? Do you have a Legislature or even a Judiciary?

Hey young man, slow down you have just asked me three questions. “The beauty about being Absolute Leader is that the words contained in our Big Book are just “words” and means nothing. I control the Cabinet. I control the Legislature and yes, I even control the Judiciary.

A few years ago your country held national elections did it not? So you cannot really have the kind of absolute power you talk about.

 Have you never heard of “An elected dictatorship”? I invented it. That is the kind of government we have. An Elected Dictatorship.

With respect Mr. President they say that absolute power corrupts absolutely.

 Ah! But I am absolutely corrupt.

 Mr. President, Sir that is an awful admission to make.

 This country of yours where this “interview” is going to be read, what can it do to me hey? If by chance it should reach my people then I will simply say that the whole interview was an anti Banana Repulican propaganda, concocted by imperialist media to discredit me. Smart huh!

 Son, may I call you son? I control everything and everyone. Do you know what the imperialist press dubbed our High Court?  “A Den of Iniquity” 

Copyright 2006: Seychelles Weekly, Victoria, Mahe, Seychelles