The comedy of the National Assembly

Muddled up millions from the Disaster Relief Fund

Minister Patrick Pillay made a guest appearance recently at the comedy club that is now the National Assembly, he was invited to baffle the punters’ brains with more millions. That time it was to explain how and why some Euros which were due to come our way had taken the ox-cart from Euroland to get to our tsunami stricken islands in desperate need to repair the ‘Pon Pti Paris’.

Some €5.9 million was evoked and various reasons such as ‘masterplan’ for ‘sanitasyon delo potab’ and ‘prosesis’ tender that is long dragging were blamed. Even several reports done by the likes of ex-minister Jumeau seem to have been a waste of time as the ox-cart is still stuck somewhere across the Sahara desert on its way to Seychelles. Blame it on the bureaucracy of the EU!

In the meantime – ‘Pri lavi, in mont pli o ki tsunami…’

The Heat is On

The debates during the motions session were dominated by arguments from both sides of the ‘latab’ which is ‘pa tro balanse’. The Honourable Mister Speaker, Dr. Herminie, SPPF Central Committee Member for Port Glaud, was conveniently (or conspicuously) absent for the discussions on the bill brought forth by no other than the former editor of the SPPF party organ ‘The People’ to amend the constitution so that an elected member having resign cannot stand again in a by election. The exchanges were pretty heated and the fire was lit. Mt. Deputy Speaker, Wilby Lucas (who kept being confused as “Mr. Spiker” several times) deputised with a softie approach (the complete opposite of Herminie). For his first handling of the post Ferrari quorum, he gets a ‘red card’. Attacks and counter-attacks were poorly handled by the Honourable Lucas.

Herewith below a sample of some of the performers at this last week’s showing:

Wilby Lucas – In his attempt to try and set the tone for the debates, the Deputy Speaker was preaching on ‘bon konportman’ which is conducive to this ever illusive ‘lasanble serye’. Then he ranted about the ‘pti sennyer’ whom he accused of a ‘politik elit’ designed to clash with the ‘laklas travayer’.

David Pierre – His attempt to remind his fellow MNAs that they would have to swallow their pride as ‘Pa lot ki Zan Franswa Ferrari ki pou retourn dan sa lasanble’ started off a series of tit for tat diatribes that got the mercury to shoot up.

Michel Marie – He feels that the constitution has been abused, almost comparing it to a scenario of domestic violence. Not to be outdone with his unconditional support for the ‘workers’ class, he got confused by the fact that an MNA can make a comeback. ‘Rezyn se rezyn’! How can we allow the constitution to be taken for a ride in the same year that our President has declared it as the voice of our nation?

Marc Naiken – This MNA took the rebuke approach as he did not pass on his chance to get his views across on this hot topic. He despises the ‘dirizan arogan e malelve’ and all those who want to turn this assembly into ‘ban marsan dezord’. Our assembly is not a playground…he laments.

Hardy Lucas – Mr. Lucas (not related or to be confused with the deputy speaker) was resigned to the fact that there was a ‘red herring’ in all this salad. Despite the fact that the SPPF want to distort the facts, the fact remains that they will not be able to rid themselves of this smoked fish.

Vicky Theresine – She takes a view that it is the Mont Fleuri voters that have been made to pay dearly for this costly exercise imposed upon them by Ferrari. Her stint at doing some TV gives her the authority to tell the people of Mont Fleuri ‘pou pa partisip dan sa komedi’!

Nicholas Prea – The Bel Ombre MNA sums up the mood at the half way point with his intervention on how the various insults and outbursts have taken an ugly turn. ‘Pa teroriz nou pep ek ban lespri malad’!

Ginette Gamatis – Since the crisis has erupted, the Port Glaud MNA has made several cameo appearances in the defence of her fellow colleague the absent ‘Mister Spiker’, who assists her in keeping check of her district’s voices. No more humiliation she admonishes – ‘Nou bezwen redres sa lasanble. Nou pep pou riy nou, byento etranze pou riy nou’! She despises that we can have an MNA like the ‘onorab antre-sorti’. She feels that the SNP leaders are running around in circles. She throws down the gauntlet as she challenges Ferrari that he needs to pull in at least 50% of the vote at Mont Fleuri or else he should be made to pay for the expense of the elections. JFF was going to get a good lesson…’manman’ believed!

Colin Dyer – The Beau Vallon MNA reinforced the fact that the members of the ruling party did not really understand how to interpret the constitution as they were comparing democracy at work as a fun game of musical chairs. As for him, it can be a “walk in, walk out, walk in and walk out again”!

Roy Nibourette – This MNA put things into perspective with some killer one-liners such as ‘en problem ek en lot problem y fer de problem’! Rocket scientist stuff.

Wavel Ramkalawan – The leader of the opposition had finally been given his turn as he was turning green! ‘Montre respe pou dimoun’ he begged, giving a little reminder to the SPPF members that they did not have a two thirds majority to flex their muscles. He was preparing himself for the next sparring match that would take place (interjected) during Mrs. Potter’s intervention.

Marie-Louise Potter – The leader of govt biz, wanted to reiterate her bosses claims that ‘sa eleksyon y en fars. Pa les sa fars repete’! She feels that we are playing gymnastics with a constitutional move. They will not repeat the Ferrari bluff! She confirms that she is all confused by all these ‘sekens’ and sees JFF as having hanged himself politically. Allusions to suicidal tendencies? She even sees some strange looking people with ‘en kote lespri’! She goes on to make a direct challenge to the ‘lot kote latab’ that they are ready anytime for a ‘batay lo terren’!

Hon. Wavel interjects…’vini wa ganny ou bate bef’…!

Marie-Antoinette Rose – The mover of the bill was asked to wrap up the debate. We are not so sure at that point if the list of the ‘koser’ has been closed as we did not really hear from the likes of Hons. Georges, Henri, Alcindor or Loizeau.

Hon. Rose, rose to the occasion (sorry for the pun) to score some personal political points and ascertain her future in this newly carved landscape. ‘Demokrasi pe ganny viole. Protez zot kont zot prop lekor’. Her battle cry is clearly heard as she sets the tone, ‘zot in tann mwan dan papye, zot in war mwan dan lasanble, byento zot pou war mwan lo terren. Pa kri ayo yo…!

She believes that we are dealing with a weird and scary mindset’. Talk about mindset! She feels it is a criminal mindset when a person ‘puts a knife to the throat of our democracy’!!

Heated exchanges indeed, as we close the session in anticipation of the storm that was predicted to hit Mont Fleuri on the 19th July. The SPPF voters stayed home (as instructed) to survey their little patch of green in their backyard, in case it got flattened by the impended storm, which never happened..

July 18, 2008
Copyright 2007: Seychelles Weekly, Victoria, Mahe, Seychelles