Offshore, diplomatic calls & 14 juillet
The week has been pretty hectic but fun… The President’s agenda was bursting with photo ops, hand shakes, official tours and of course the most sought after, not to be missed date of the year - ‘la bonne ambiance Française’ of the 14 juillet! Vive La France! Orderly mapped out a series of media coups to bolster the main man’s image. ‘Nation’ and SBC were in overdrive!
Orderly walks in and decides to entertain today’s briefing in the language of diplomacy: Bonjour Patron! (He startles the President to his feet!). Quelle bonne nouvelle par cette belle matinée ensoleillée?
President: Bonzour mon ami! This French champagne at the 14 juillet party has brought back your poetic soul. I bet the handshake and chit chat you had with ‘Devilpin’ must have inspired you with some Elysée style diplomacy. I much preferred this Chirac man to this new brand of Sarkozists!
Orderly: Precisely Mr. President Sir! Monsieur De Villepin est un grand homme! Have you noticed how tall he is? With his silvery hair he surely looks distinguished!
President: I really felt small next to him. But he does have a firm handshake! He really loves our islands and will become a great ambassador for our tourism. Did you see the lively Camarade Tretout doing the twist at the cocktail party?
Orderly: Quel Artiste! But he stole the thunder from you when he announced the arrival of Carrefour and Caillé to our shores. He is really a showman imitating boss with his fat cigars! But we managed to give a boost to our offshore business with the tour of SIBA. What a delight to see the elite supermarket at ISPC. Who said we had shortages in this country?
President: The IMF and the Paris Club will be happy to note that we are opening more banks on the offshore side. As we attract more of these yachts, villa owners, millionaires and turn this place into a glitzy little Monaco of the Indian Ocean, I will invite all the dignitaries for my cocktails on these ‘konblaze’ islands that boss had the vision to create…
Orderly: Sir these islands are becoming a mirror to the sophistication of our people – as he gets a flashback to the champagne mood of the cocktail evening of 14th – “Mother Nature gave us ‘Eden’ and ‘Eve’. We have struggled through our ‘Perseverance’ and finally met ‘Aurore Nouvelle’!
President: You’ve hit the nail right on the head Orderly with this eloquent ‘poezi’!
Orderly: Monsieur le President! Vive l’amitie Franco Seychelloise. It was a fantastic PR coup when we got Monsieur de Villepin and Monsieur l’Ambassadeur to visit the ‘demeure impressionant’ of Monsieur Jean Baptiste Queau de Quincy!
President: I just hope that they did not reawaken the De Quincy ghost. They did warn me that State House was haunted!
Orderly: Oohh Sir…I am a bit like Scooby Doo… I hate haunted houses and spooky stories!
He darts across the office and bangs the door behind him as he dashes down the corridor…
Meanwhile, news has broken that a local bank has had a million odd rupees that vanished from under its watch. Orderly retires to his office as he has an important briefing on how to handle the bad news of another round of devaluation of our currency. He delves into the latest edition of the Economist Magazine scanning for some of the world market trends to beef up the President’s next speech for the acceptance of giant cheque donations…