Independence Blues
June has really been a hectic month for the President. He had to dodge a few events such as the ‘Senk Zen’ celebrations which were low key anyway. It is now getting tougher to settle on a date in June which would embody the right unity that our people are craving. June 18th was forced down the throats of those who did not accept ‘Senk Zen’ but Independence Day seems to win the day and that is the date engraved in our people’s hearts as the legitimate celebration of our sovereignty as a nation….
Orderly: Good morning Mr. President, Sir! You don’t look too good today… is there anything I can do to cast off this worried look upon your face? I don’t like this stoned face look which you have adopted since the Congress! You need to be your chirpy self and keep looking busy. A depressed President does not send a good message out there…
President: Orderly, I am feeling a lot like Ferrari. I am even contemplating a similar move. What do you think I should do? If I resign as President, then I can be re-elected in a month and be myself. I am tired of being the puppet of the ‘Fron’. Boss does not even give me a chance to speak as Secretary General. He has gone back to his old bullying tactics. Wouldn’t you be depressed orderly?
Orderly: Indeed Mr. President. The best way out of this is to hit the bottle. Why do you think I can cope with all these pressures? It levels out all your feelings and emotions and puts you in a permanent state of joy! Calling a snap election is not a bad idea. It will give you a tit-for-tat response to the boss’s humiliating dress down at the Congress. He really did not seem to like the no-show at Zonm Lib…
President: Now he has come back with the ‘Gran Blan’ talk to try and infuriate Ferrari and bring back the colonial blues. If I do the same and call on the people to re-elect me to State House, he will burst into one of his tantrums. Once a dictator, always a dictator orderly! He will boot me out of the party and call me a ‘Pti Rouzon’.
Orderly: He is obviously not very happy as he is being hit left right and centre. What do you expect? This is how an octopus reacts when it is cornered… Indeed Mr President. Once a zourit, always a zourit Sir! I have myself carried this label for several generations…
President: This is precisely my dilemma Orderly. I am totally confused when it comes to June. I want to be the president of all Seychellois but I cannot get this unity thing going. Albert has created too many birthdays for our nation. This Liberation, National & Independence days give me butterflies in my tummy. Liberation is now referred to as ‘AK-47 day’ and the National Day is now the ‘Flag Day’…
Orderly: Indeed it was a brilliant idea to have the giant pole erected with the permanent oversize flag. It was meant to infuse a sense of pride in our people. It is the year of the constitution after all. The flagpole monument incorporates our constitution in the form of the leather-bound big book that it is…
President: We did manage to execute that idea but it seems that the people are still not happy. They view the 18th June as insignificant as they have seen two other constitutions before. One was ripped apart by the AK, the second one we handed down to the people post liberation – (the one party state one) and this third one which was tossed out a few times before boss finally compromised. Nobody seems to accept it as a celebration as Albert can take it hostage again if he wants to – ‘si fodre repran nou pou repran’.
Orderly: No worries Sir! Mr. President! You can always declare that you have been vested with a divine power. This will stroke Albert’s ego as he is the divine hand and you then get to live it up like Mugabe. No one can move him now that he has invoked divinity!
President: We had fewer problems in the past years with my mandate. Boss would be happily retired on his farm and we would get on with things. But now, since the early elections last year (his last ditch effort to return to the one party state) he is back like a bull in a china shop. Now he is spending more time locally installing his ‘defacto’ seat at the ‘Maison Dipep’. With Marylou and Big Pat as his henchmen, he has total control of the assembly. I cannot shake off this party power thing. Would you not be depressed orderly?
Orderly: I surely do not like these bullying tactics. It makes us look bad. We had a great make over (at least us at State House) and we had erased this baddy image. We were on a high with all those diplomatic efforts, visits to the community, opening of new housing estates and you were looking very statesmanlike with your multiple overseas visits. Very much like Jimmy in the early days leading up to Independence.
President: You’ve hit the nail right on the head Orderly! I will have none of this party political wrangling going on. I will rise above all this pettiness and let the ‘gran blan’, ‘mazanbik’, ‘mylat’, ‘kaf’ ‘sinwan’ ‘malbar’ & ‘rouzon’ call each other names. This is not serious. I wanted a ‘lansanble serye’. Mancham was right all along. It is Independence that has forged us into a nation. Our sovereignty is what binds us into a nation. After all, we sang that we wanted it so badly - ‘Lendepandans pa nou ki ti demande’… (He sings)!
Orderly shakes his head in approval and joins in with his own rendition… ‘Lendepandans pa nou ki ti demande, Rene ki ti demande, nou pa oule lendepandans!’ The karaoke session seems to provide a light entertainment. Oh, let’s PARTY!!! ‘Annou viv konman frer, nou pa pou lager… sa gro montanny trwa frer, legzanp y devan nou. Nou tou nou frer SPPF, SNP, DP…
A By Election and Grains from China
The by election has not only turned our economic woes in the spotlight but it will cost the SPPF government close to a million. A big hit into the finances, as we struggle to make ends meet! Now it will get more complicated to find the forex to pay our fuel bills. Danny is furious as he now has to get the dress down by the IMF and Paris Club. Luckily the President did not have to do this during his tenure as the MOF. But coincidentally, after being generous with a donation for the People’s Assembly, the mighty People’s Republic of C, has come to our rescue with another million in grains to sustain the ‘pri lavi’.
President: Cut the French Orderly it reminds me too much of the Maison Queau de Quincy. Jean Francois is aspiring to become the next minister of Foreign Affairs. This bye election might give him the back door for such a mandate. I will get the Jj Foundation to contain him.
Orderly: He does have some arrogance Mr. President. Since his days at school he used to behave as a bad boy. Together with Wavel, they were sowing the seeds of the ‘liberation movement’. He now sees ‘Mr. Speaker’ (Kozer) talking more than him and he doesn’t like that. He is fed up of being treated like a child.
President: Yes, orderly. That’s why we believed in the NYS. Danny was doing a good job there. This is the best way to deal with rebels. Put them in a camp and when they come out they see red! The Jj Spirit Foundation is the extension of this youthful camp. We will give them the platform to express themselves on what the Jj dream team is achieving today.
Orderly: Sir, your personal friendship with President Hu has paid off again. We have received one million worth of grains from our Chinese comrades. This will surely offset the supplementary budget that we had to find for the bye election. As its name suggests, we can say bye, bye to this money as it will only serve to bring the Ferrari boy back into his self-eject seat.
President: He is lucky he is not dealing with Mugabe. Otherwise it would have been black October all over again.
Orderly: Mr. President, the assembly has now become an east vs west slugfest. In the red corner there is the indoctrinated, uncompromising bunch and in the green corner is the liberal thinking, unyielding, never-say-die lot… with a little blue man, whistle in hand, taking the p..s out of this comedy!
President: This comedy might soon turn into a tragedy. Don’t ever let the ‘Spiker’ flex those big muscles! He will surely bash their brains out. We will teach them a thing or two about their ‘intellectual revolution’.
Orderly: Sir, shall we entertain the Chinese request for a military base on one of the outlying islands/ Glenny is prepared to compromise.
President: Let’s leave this delicate matter for another day Orderly. I have a pounding migraine – (as he reaches for another tablet to swallow down with his STC vanilla tea.
Orderly takes his leave and retires to the confines of his office as he works the iPhone to make contact with the US Central Command; to have the ships laden with food aid destined for Myanmar diverted for a deserved break in Seychelles.