Orderly walks into Mr. President's office, early Monday morning, while Mr. President is on the intercom phone to Maison Du Pape. Orderly does not notice the sensitive conversation ongoing as he strolls in.
Orderly: Gooooooooood Mooooorning Vieeeeetnam, TGIF means Thank God Its Friday, Mr. President!
Mr. President: (Pulls his index finger to his mouth, shhhhhhhhh! It’s Boss.)
Orderly: (In a tone down whisper) okayyy! oopppsss! Orderly listens in carefully and with utter fear with Boss on the intercom from Maison Du Pape.
Boss: Did you read the Report?????????
Mr. President: Boss, all Reports have been received and placed on the shelf to collect dust. Yes, I will archive them in five (5) years. Done!
Boss: No Jame, the Standard and Poor Rating Report. Your Government has been downgraded and placed on a "Watch Negative" "SD". We are in default of our debts.
Mr. President: Negative, Boss, I have a Rolex. I don't wear a "negative watch", is that like the "Swatch", like the sexy stewardesses like to wear?
Boss: Jame, get serious, we have a Country to keep going while it’s sinking. The deluge’ as in "BIG-D" is in full swing. Wake up Jame, no time to think about young sexy women. Lehman Brothers has declared its intention to accelerate your $245 Million Junk Bond since you have not paid your Interest, as I told you to. Forget about paying the Principal.
Mr. President: Look Boss, lets get this straight, you told me to borrow the Junk Bond from Lehmans. I did. Now you are mad at me for not paying it back? Boss, you never told me to pay anything back Lehmans. We are Communists we don't pay back debts.
Boss: Look Jame, the Report places into question your Government's ability to manage our finances and our affairs. It's just like that Gill Column. They are alluding to mismanagement, by your Government. Standard and Poor is having delusions and illusions of us not paying our debts. What are you going to do about it?
Mr. President: Ok Boss I can answer that. Mr. President pulls a dusty -prepped Report from the shelf titled: "Deluge Contingency" subtitle: Downgrade Procedure Response, he starts to read off prepped items from the Report:
1. I will call IMF and get Sosis to prep some fake statistics and fake them into giving us lots of money.
2. When they come, I can kiss them three (3) times and hug them and feed them lots of ISPC food just like I did with the ADB Chief.
3. We can take them for long walks along the Children's Playground, so they feel sorry for us.
4. Then I can tell all the French purse seiners thru the French Ambassador, to go out to sea and show them all our poor fishermen we have been destroying for 32 years.
5. I will show them the moratorium on car rentals policy, so they see we are squeezing local businesses and restricting free trade to keep more money to give them back later, so they can give us more money now.
6. I will send the Army on leave and hide the bases from them and show them our poor worn out Police Officers. Then they will feel sorry for us and give us more money.
7. We can take them to the market on Monday.
8. Then have them meet the pitiful Leader of the Opposition. I will call him and tell him to look like a real loser that day and wear the torn shirts and slippers, but hide the Peugeot luxury sedan. Sound like a Plan, Boss?
Boss: Jame, they have accelerated the Lehman Brother debt, they want their money now. Your "JJ Spirit" is losing it. You do not have another election run, boy. I need to replace you with Danny or some other branch district administrator if you cannot solve this problem fast.
Mr. President: If you try to replace me, I will...I will...I will "JJ Spirit you".
Boss: You will not.
Mr. President: Yes Boss, have a good day.
Orderly: (Uttering to himself as he walks out quietly and well embarrassed) Ahhh, I think I better call Boris at the strand for a job. If not, maybe Ramadoss will give me a Column.
Sounds like we have had it. Thinking to himself, “man everything that Column Dude Gill says in Weekly happens....what’s going on in here?"
SAD