Orderly has orchestrated another diplomatic coup to welcome Mrs. Betancourt (the famous Franco- Columbian FARC hostage) on the lawns of State House gardens via the French ambassador’s patronage; as ‘Jam’ the Irish Wolfhound discovers a mysterious broom in the janitor’s closet in the President’s office...
Welcoming of Mrs. Betancourt…Day 1
Orderly: Places a call to the President early morning over a steaming mug of Arabica coffee – “Bonjour Patron! Toujours de la belle diplomaçie en perspective! Madame Betancourt has accepted our invitation and will be given a ‘second home’ coming in her favourite adopted islands…May I usher her in?
Cue in a beaming Orderly and the protocol team with the charming invitée distenge… What a momentous Occasion. A chit chat as the President extends his hospitality with a sunny smile. As they stroll on the lawn in the beautiful gardens… reminiscent indeed of the times when the lady experienced her good old days of the ‘80’s when SPPF was at the height of its communist one-party state…
The day after the event…Day 2
Mr. President: Good morning Orderly. Check the reportage from the newspapers today. This was a brilliant coup and will raise our profile. It serves as a great ‘rapprochement’ with the French government. From the home welcoming by Sarkozy and getting a legion d’honneur during the momentous time of the 14 juillet, she now opts for a one month’s retreat to her favourite islands. What a great story! From the jungles of Columbia to the romantic capital city of Paris…and on to the shores of the Seychelles Islands… Another World…
Orderly: Indeed Mr. President Sir, the SBC coverage last night was also very comprehensive. We are on the right track. This is what make you look Presidential Sir. It is good to show signs of an unwavering attitude. We are really perfecting our welcome ‘à la Seychelloise’!
Mr. President: “Byenveni au Sesel”…nice one Orderly! I also gather from the “Nouvel Obs” website dispatch that Monsieur de Villepin will be back from Kenya for a short meeting with her here in our islands.
Orderly: For sure Sir, they have been the best of friends as have several Seychellois(es) that she (the lady) befriended during her spell with us here. We have arranged for her to escape to a distant Amirantes island for her to recharge her batteries as she contemplates her future.
Mr. President: We have signed up two new Seychelles ambassadors and now we have a French ex-prime minister and a celebrity ex-hostage who will spread the word to the Francophones.
Orderly: And the Francophiles like us Sir! A well calculated publicity stunt Mr. President as we need to rake in as much forex as possible for the IMF plan. And our tourism industry is the only one that can bail us out. This will hopefully bring us a bit more French tourists as this recession is keeping most of them home.
Mr. President: We will survive this IMF ‘restriktirasyon ekonomik’. It is like being hit by a wave. If you are a good swimmer, when you see the wave coming you dive under it. We learnt that when we were kids right?
Orderly: Yes Sir. But the problem is that we have not so many good swimmers amongst our population and ‘zot pou pran fon’ like they say…
Mr. President: Well we have sent the message that we needed a new mindset Orderly! People now have to understand that the experimentation with socialism is over. We are now living in a capitalist world my friend. And when we need to tone down our expenses, everyone has to bite the bullet. Even the Castros have given up on the ideals…and will be bartering their cigars for their version of the IMF plan. Pretty soon they will be like Zimbabwe and have their billion peso notes…
Orderly: But Sir. We are not doing too bad! Look around us. Everyone has voted a nice salary and the new cars have arrived and we are shaking hands with some of the most famous dignitaries around. I also need a new raise as the chef d’orchestre of all these happenings Sir. What do you think?
Mr. President: Alright Orderly, I will give you a 1500 rupee bonus permanent raise to help you meet the increase in your utilities bills. We’ll still take care of your mobilephone bills but keep the calls down.
The President snaps his finger to attract the attention of ‘Jam’ (the Irish Wolfhound) and throws a cookie at the canine. He skids across the floor on the Persian carpet and ends up against the cleaning cabinet closet door which accidentally opens with a thud and a broom (balye zig on a long pole) drops to the floor and scares the living daylights out of Orderly…
Orderly: Ssssssiiiiirrrrrrr! What the heck iiiiiis this???? I sense some witchcraft here… (the hairs on the small of his back stand up with this fright).
Mr. President: Oohh not to worry Orderly. This is not a bad omen. It is a tool to remind everyman that the IMF plans are perhaps a broom that will be sweeping our shores but it is just a broom. The proof is in the pudding…Seeing is believing! That way, when we show everyone this broom they will understand that we need to clean up.
Orderly: Mr. President Sir, I feel relieved. I have already instructed the boys to diffuse the following headline; - “IMF’s broom about to sweep the Seychelles shores” “Marble building will be first to get its tinted windows cleaned”!
Mr. President: Great stuff my main man! Let’s get a few more overseas visits going… what was the next conference coming up?
Orderly: Yes Sir, we’ll have to look at some conferences as Sir. James seems to be ahead in this league. Will have your cappuccino delivered presto…
Sepandan…Orderly retires to his office to scan through some of the latest magazines and newspapers for some inspiration for the next possible overseas mission for the President. Forget about the Middle East. Have done too many trips there lately. Hmmm, the phone rings and it is the President on the line – Ooh he’s got the best idea. The Beijing Olympics! Of course, Three Cheers to our super power best friend on the 8/8/08! Hip… Hip… Hip!!…Hooray!