Zim Blues and taxing those luxury cars
The arrival of the IMF will have to get us to finally tighten those belts. Orderly is strongly considering readopting the Socialist beliefs and taking the ‘tata bus’ to work in the morning. But it seems that there are enough new Prados that have recently been imported by Mr. President for his security detail to go around. He can always take one home after the long hours… Our economic situation is said to be heading the Zimbabwe route. They have now released a Zim$ 500 billion note. We had our SR 500 rupee note. And the way things are going our Governor if he is still around come next week, will be printing the SR 1,000 rupee note to cope with those escalating prices…
Orderly: Good morning Mr. President, Sir! We have proceeded with the increase in taxes on the new vehicles coming into the country so that we can curb the drain on our foreign exchange.
President: Indeed my man! As we get more accustomed to our ‘Gro Manze’ we should also start having a consideration for our environment to help Joel in his endeavour to get us to clean up our act when it comes to finding cleaner and safer energy resources.
Orderly: Sir but they reckon that if he got back the US$ 4.5 million lost to the Dubai bogus company we could buy a lot of solar panels and even some electric cars.
President: Exactly Orderly! Talking about electric cars, we need to order some golf carts like they have at all those five star hotels. We can welcome our ambassadors and dignitaries from the gate and give them a sightseeing tour through our beautiful State House gardens. What do you think Orderly?
Orderly: That’s what I call thinking out of the box Sir!! We definitely need to showcase our lovely grounds, and the tour by the French dignitaries to the tomb of de Quincy went down well! We will soon have a stroll on the lawns with another famous person with a close attachment to our islands.
President: Yes, we need to throw more parties in these grounds, not only the boss’s birthday bash every November. We should look at more tea parties with various segments of our community. We need to know what the people think and say about us…
Orderly: Brilliant idea. I will put the protocol boys on this one Sir. I have been briefed by the latest economic live wire bulletins thatA Zimbabwe has released its latest currency note in the billions to be able to run after this runaway inflation. We seem to be poised to get our 1000 rupee note. Things are not looking too good over at ex Queen’s building.
President: Get the name right Orderly – it’s Liberty House – Anyway - Not to worry Orderly. This IMF ‘restiktirasyon’ will affect all of us. Raul Castro has told the Cubans that they would have to bite the bullet. We have already said –through our Cubanite Marylou in the Assembly- that things will be ‘tuff, tuff, tuff’! Even mannman is behind us on this.
Orderly: Sir - but the likes of mannman will not be happy as they now cannot afford their little 4 wheeler to take them around on their long errands all over the islands to search for commodities.
President: The new taxes are meant to curb those extravagances on luxury cars. Our country can no longer afford these kinds of luxury Orderly. Our public transportation is a very healthy alternative.
Orderly: Yes Sir. I was contemplating taking a ‘tata’ on the way down this morning but the schedule was a little too early (and still dark) for me at 5.00 o’clock in the morning. We did well to bring in the Prados before these new taxes…
President: We need these new taxes Orderly. We need to raise the money so that we can seek some more funds to keep ‘ lekonomi’ going though another appropriations bill at the restart of the Assembly. We just cannot fathom where the people find the forex to buy these cars. But that will put an end to these black market dealings.
Orderly: Sir I’ve seen a lot of these compact cars and read an article in the ‘Isola Bella’ about the popularity of the little Sirions, Picantos and all those small 4 wheelers. The young generation and the string of new car hires seem to have taken to this new fashion statement.
President: We have to go for those luxury toys next. We will start taxing all these yachts and boats that cost millions of dollars that they are bringing in. Now Francis has acquired a new one and parked it at the Coast guard. You see people have eyes and they need to be careful. You will remember that we had the scandal of the ‘Maseratis’ with the two local princes involved…
Orderly: Nice move Sir! We hate the sea and all the pleasures associated with it. ‘Nous sommes les hommes de terrain’. That’s why we should stick to our schedule of showcasing the greener side of this Presidency. The State House gardens have a special mystic aura that exudes peace and serenity. And we need this reconciliation of the soul in this difficult world that we live in…
President: You’re a star Orderly. I’ll have a nice cappuccino please…
Mr. President peeks at the pile of letters he has been receiving over the last week on his desk and hands them to Orderly – Take the pulse of the nation…we are on the best road to going green…
Orderly grabs the pile of letters and heads out the door straight to the garden shed. He summons the gardener and they head to the nursery where he plants one letter next to all the new hibiscus and ‘roz edwar’ in their cabos under the sheath cloth. It’s like sowing the seeds of socialism all over again…!