Note that this article has been censored by the printers this week and have been blacked out by the printers in the printed weekly.

The former first lady Sarah Rene gets tested for drugs?

Mrs. sarah Rene and Censored Weekly

This is no spoof. It actually happened on July 19th after the S.R. Open Tennis tournament.

Very few people in Seychelles, let alone anyone else anywhere in the world have heard of this tournament. We do not know if anyone from anywhere else in the world flocked to Seychelles to take part in or watched this tournament. We do not even know the rankings of the players of this tournament. To be honest, we do not even know who won the tournament. Nevertheless, that did not stop the Seychelles National Anti-doping Commission (do you know them?) from taking urine samples of all the winners of the semi-finals and testing them for banned substances.

Imagine Mrs Sarah Rene on steroids just so she would win the 2007 S.R. Open Tennis Tournament. What more, the reason given for the testing is even more bizarre if not ridiculous. It appears that rumours were circulating that since the veteran players were performing much better than the juniors were, it was possible that they were using performance-enhancing drugs. As it turned out, all the results were negative.

Did anyone think of testing the juniors? Maybe they were on drugs – the variety that reduces performance rather than enhance it perhaps?

They did not say if any former Leaders took part in the tournament. Perhaps that would justify a doping test, especially if they had lasted more than the first few strokes (of the racket that is). Then again, given the latest International Tennis Federation pronouncement on the issue (see below) they could probably past the test with flying colours.

“Where an anabolic androgenic steroid is capable of being produced endogenously, a sample will be deemed to contain such Prohibited Substance where the concentration of such Prohibited Substance or its metabolites or markers and/or any other relevant ratio (s) in the Athlete’s Sample so deviates from the range of values normally found in humans that it is unlikely to be consistent with normal endogenous production. A sample shall not be deemed to contain a Prohibited Substance or its metabolites or markers and/or the relevant ratio(s) in the Athlete’s Sample is attributable to a physiological or pathological condition.”