The announcement that a National Strategic Plan has been launched to address domestic violence is a step in the right direction. For too long now, the whole concept of domestic violence was seen as something that victims had to deal with themselves within their homes and community.
Many women who are mostly the victims of domestic violence do not really want to come forward to seek help – it is still taboo in our society to do so. One of the main reasons is that they feel that somehow it is their fault if they are being subjected to such acts of violence and that if they stay in that relationship their partner might see their commitment and stop.
To learn that there has been an increase of 31% between 2006 and 2007 is no surprise. Violence comes as a result of an individual losing control and wanting to hurt. Although anger is a healthy emotion, how a person deals with anger is important. For men mostly, getting physical is a short cut to deal with a particular problem. The whole problem generally is with their inability in most cases to express themselves verbally. Women are more eloquent and are more used to expressing how they feel verbally and unfortunately they are also better are using verbal abuse in arguments.
It will be interesting to follow the various activities outlined in the Strategic Plan and how the men will react to them. Most women we spoke to believes that domestic violence is a problem in Seychelles but their concerns are that many men do not see that as a problem. They feel that some women deserve what they get especially in cases when they have been warned of the violent character of a particular individual(s).
We are living today at a time when people are getting more physical and resorting to violence to resolve conflict. We hear and see that in the news in other countries but also in our small country where families are hurting and killing each other because of their inability to resolve conflict peacefully. Our political leaders are no example; verbal abuse towards each other is seen generally as a form of violence, domestic or otherwise. Maybe this new initiative will address these issues and help people develop conflict management skills.
One way to look at it is to say to oneself, ‘would you like somebody to hit, beat, slap or verbally abuse you when you have done something wrong’ if your answer is no then you should not be thinking of applying it to some-one else. Violence will only breed violence and in the cases of domestic violence it happens many times in front of children who then grow up to believe that it is the normal way to deal with a problem or resolve of conflict. Then it becomes a vicious circle and society ends up paying the cost.
So now is the time for us to find ways and means to resolve our conflict in a peaceful way. God gave us the power to control our emotion, so let us use it, Mr. Speaker and Jean-Francois; we hope you are watching……