State house any time now

Another day, another Dollar, but I doubt it. Orderly walks into Mr. President’s office early morning looking real pale like white paint, likely from lack of sleep and food, but too much juice.

Orderly: Mr. President Sir, good morning to you.

 Mr. President: Good morning Orderly. Check right away on the menu for some items for our dinner with the Ambassadors tonight.

Orderly: Sir, Docklands is empty. Supa Save is empty. SMB is empty. People’s Super Market is empty. The Public Market is empty. Where do you think I, Orderly, is supposed to find food for your fancy dinner tonight with the Ambassadors?

Mr. President: Orderly, I am worried about you. SMB and Muky is long gone, we have STC, you haven’t checked there. You are starting to show signs of weakness that would disqualify you under the Young Leaders Program’s Psycho-Analysis Test. I am beginning to think about replacing you with one of those Young “Leaderettes”. Straighten up Orderly.

Orderly: Sir, with all due respect, where do I find food? You are the Leader; tell me where to go to find food for your Ambassadorial Dinner at State House, Anytime Now!

Mr. President: Orderly, you are simple minded. Think out of the box boy! Don’t you watch SBC at least? Go to the SIBA warehouses where HSL IPSC GOPALS and every other store. They have everything that exist in the World, Orderly; fine Beluga AAA CAVIAR, fine AAA Salmon CAVIAR, fine high grade PARMAGEAN from ITALY- PARMA of course, ideal for starters. They even have large JUMBO PRAWNS, which MUKY could never get to market. For our main course, Orderly, fine FILLETS of Duck Breast straight from Paris, FILLET OF VEAL, FILLET of PORKY, FILLET of Salmon, so we don’t have to eat Bourgeois anymore. Randolf can increase the stock. Our fishermen can rest and be happy with KARANG.

Orderly: What about rice and onions, garlic  Mr. President, where can I find rice?

 Mr. President: Orderly, same place you moron!

Orderly: huh, what about payment, what to do about paying the food bill Mr. President, we don’t have any Rupees anymore and the IMF is watching how we spend our money.

Mr. President: Orderly, catch up with “JJ Spirit”, you are really behind the times for an Orderly. We don’t use Rupees at SIBA you poor fool. We use US Dollars, Euros, and Pounds Sterling.

Orderly: Ok, that’s new to me. What if we don’t have any Sir. What do we do?

Mr. President: Well orderly, under “JJ Spirit” fountain rules, if you don’t have US Dollars, Euros, Pound Sterling, you starve to death. If you earn Rupees, you work to death, never mind about the food, it will delay your imminent death, and waste our countries limited resources.

Orderly: Ok, Mr. President, where do I get the money to pay for the food for your dinner tonight.

Mr. President: Pulls out his wallet, and grabs a card, hands it to Orderly and says: “MasterCard International so easy, so helpful....its yours. “ and of course, our friends from Lehmans have given me and Sosis some American Express Platinum Cards so we can keep eating and keep on borrowing from them so they can keep on making money off our people’s soul.

Orderly: Sir, what about our people, how will they eat?

Mr. President: Orderly, don’t you watch SBC.....Gro Manze man, Gro Manze....make sure you plant your banana tree when you get home today. If you plant one a day in a year you will have 12 banana trees from which to feed your family Orderly, tidy up your garden.

Orderly: Mr. President you mean 365 trees the number of days in a year, 12 is the number of month in a year, so you want me to plant a banana plant for every month of the year, sir?

Mr. President: Good idea Orderly, do you remember that man who said he would go plant bananas if he loses the last presidential election. Check on him he might be able to help feed the people.

August 1, 2008
Copyright 2007: Seychelles Weekly, Victoria, Mahe, Seychelles